FIGHT. CLUB. PRO.

Nope.

This isn’t a bit of extremely late April fools banter.

Fight Club Pro have officially performed at the NEC, Birmingham in Birmingham.

I remember not so long ago watching them in Planet night club, Wolverhampton in front of maybe 200 (very drunk) people.

They’ve multiplied that attendance by 6 AT LEAST.

Had a little chat with Clint Margera (THE longest reigning Kamikaze Pro champion).

He’s sound, but wasn’t wrestling (unfortunately).

WWE United Kingdom Champion, Pete Dunne, was wrestling Fight Club Pro champion, Meiko Satomura.

Being the “homegrown” Fight Club Pro star that he is, he got a MASSIVE pop (the term pop means chant, in wrestling fan speak), as did Satomura.

I was once trained by Pete.

True story.

I have pictures.

Moustache Mountain (Tyler Bate & Trent Seven) defeated Ozzy Open to win the dream tag team tournament and became the first ever Fight Club Pro Tag Team Champions.

Oh yeah..

One thing I realised today about the crowd at a wrestling event, is that it’s made up of beards, nerds, long hair and girls in very long t-shirts that like to get their legs out.

GO TO ONE YOURSELF AND SEE FOR YOURSELF!!!

I can bet my entire life savings that you’ll see AT LEAST two of those things listed.

If you like watching people fuck each other up, screaming abuse at people and heavy drinking then get involved with Fight Club Pro by clicking this link.

Home. Busy. Help.

I am home. 

Finally.

But for how long? To be continued..

I haven’t updated this thing in like 6 days.

Soz.

Ironically considering that I’m never fucking here, I’m moving apartments.

Literally over the road from where I am now, but this one has an extra bedroom AND its higher up.

#Views

2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms (one of which is an en suite, the other includes a bath).

#Soaking

I need to stop with these random hashtags.

I’m not going to though.

What else has happened?

Molly is looking into a paramedic science course, which is pretty cool.

She’s cool too.

I ate a vegan sandwich called a Vietnamese Banh-Mi.

T’was delish. Will eat again.

Here is a picture.

BBQ pulled jackfruit, pickled vegetables, coriander, vegan mayo and sriracha chilli sauce on a toasted baguette served with pickled coleslaw. 

#Appetising (I told you).

I went to see a band called Sumo Cyco with Moll and her friend Knee-V (it’s spelt Niambh but fuck me, right?).

They were pretty cool.

My view at first wasn’t too impressive.

But as the night progressed, it got better.

Here’s a song of theirs.

I had a phone call from somebody from the TV show ‘Inside The Ambulance’.

I (in my post seizure state), will be on TV at some point in the near future.

#Groovy

 

PICC LINES AND ORANGE ARMS

#OOTD

I have a PICC line now.

What is a PICC line?

I have no idea what it stands for, I’ll be honest. But it’s a long term access point to my bloodstream, so that I can have intravenous antibiotics at home or in hospital and not have to worry about being stabbed even more.

How long will it stay in?

It’ll last about six months. So.. that long.

Did it hurt?

Nope. You’re under local anaesthetic. Feels weird though. Like a little shock inside my arm.

That’s pretty much it.

Now onto what annoyed me:

ORANGE. ALCOHOLIC. DISINFECTANT. SHIT.

It stains your skin for D A Y S .

I look like I’ve been fisting oompah loompas.

Otherwise it was alright.

Pretty sure I’ll be going home soon.

I should fucking hope so, I’ve paid two months rent and I’ve been there for like a week max.

(who’s Max??)

B u l l s h i t .

Adios amigos.

SNOW AND NOODLE BAR.

It snowed.

Again.

I hate snow.

I mean, yes, it looks pretty.

But thats all.

FYI, I should be in Barcelona right now, having just visited the Nou Camp (they won 2-0). But because my head sucks, and I like to cause a scene in Tesco by spazzing all over the hotdog isle, I am currently sitting in an armchair on my laptop in a hospital in Birmingham.

The joy.

I escaped last night.

I didn’t really “escape” as such.

I told them I was going for something to eat, because the weekends always consist of fishcake or hotpot.

Every weekend, without fail.

I don’t like fishcake or hotpot. 

Especially not from a hospital.

No. Thank. You.

Anyway..

You notice whenever we get snow in England, everybody loses their shit?

I don’t. I just sigh a lot because I dislike it.

Me and Molly went to a noodle bar in Chinatown. 

Very nice.

Very cheap.

We had two courses each, and shared some prawn crackers with a sweet chilli dip.

I have a picture of that too.

Molly had vegetable spring rolls, and sweet/sour chicken (w/ egg fried rice).

I had prawn toast, and honey/chilli chicken breast (w/ egg fried rice).

£26.50 it totalled.

I gave them £30.00.

#Tipping

I was pleased with my meal.

See?

 

We went to Spar after.

I was appalled that Monster Energy pack of 4 cost £6.00

S I X P O U N D S .

Six pounds for the shakes, stomach ache and diarrhoea.

 

Bargain (!)

That is all.

Here’s a goal I scored on Fifa.

Seizure – Round 2

From what you may have already gathered, my life would seem to be one big medical disaster.

Its not a case of it “seeming” to be one.

It just simply “is” one.

So Monday’s episode featured a shopping trip for hotdogs in Tesco, quickly turning into seizure city.

Yesterday was very similar.

After a visit to Moll’s Mums house, we decided to stop off at Tesco for a drink at around 01:30 am. We parked up, Moll switched off the engine (which annoyed me as ‘Weezer – Buddy Holly’ was just kicking in as the engine came to a halt), and we headed into the store.

About half way in, I started to feel funny.

The same, if not very similar to how I felt this past Monday.

I could feel another fit coming on.

In a different Tesco.

What. Are. The. Fucking. Chances?

The feeling started to fade, but I still didn’t feel 100%. I went to find a seat near the opticians inside the store, and the staff grabbed me a drink of water, and called first aid (who was literally a dude that couldn’t open his eyes properly in a fleece, that looked more frightened than me, the guy very close to seizing).

There just so happened to be an on duty paramedic passing by, right in front of me, whilst I felt like shit.

I repeat..

What. Are. The. Fucking. Chances?

He advised us to go straight to a&e.

I was reluctant as I knew this meant another VERY long evening.

I didn’t have a choice, according to Molly.

We drove to Heartlands.

It was pretty empty.

I’ve never been through the emergency department at Heartlands before. I usually bypass all that being Mr Cystic Fibrosis/Infection Control Boy and all.

Numerous men and women inside looked as if they’d just been involved in fights. One guy had a huge cut on his nose, and didn’t look too sober.

He was asleep the majority of the time.

I tried to converse, it didn’t happen.

I spent £3.20 in the vending machines.

Pepsi Max, Twix and some spicy crisps.

Molly had a flapjack (disgusting).

After several hours my name was called.

They cannulated me, checked my blood pressure and everything else.

SATs at 94%.

Blood pressure was fine sitting down, however standing was a different issue.

SATs dropped to 92%, and blood pressure dropped by about 30 mercuries (or whatever it is).

They weren’t going to admit me at first, and then they saw his massive decrease and changed their mind.

We were sent back out into the waiting area.

Man with giant cut on his nose was still here.

12 hours in accident and emergency later, and I have a bed.

I woke up to Molly’s Mum bringing us a McDonald’s.

20 nugget share-box and coke.

Hashtag Saint Rosamund.

I’m on my usual ward now – ward 26.

(the cystic fibrosis centre).

Molly is sleeping.

It’s currently 04:23 am and I’m really craving a Chinese takeaway.

Send me one.

Anybody.

SWALLOWING MY TONGUE IN TESCO.

5th March, 2018

I didn’t sleep Sunday night.

I stayed awake for almost 48-hours.

I would not recommend doing this.

Ever.

Me and Molly decided to spend all night watching movies and playing on the SNES Classic Mini (yup, we got one).

We played Mario Kart *don’t start off on 100cc if you’ve never played the ‘old school’ version*, Yoshi World and Street Fighter.

Anywho, it got to around 6:00/7:00 am, and we thought it’d be a great idea to go beefcake it up at the gym. I can’t remember the last time I even went to a gym before today. Not even the new Pokémon games have gyms anymore, so it’s been a while.

It was pretty dead inside, I’ll be honest. Some guy with long hair was making A LOT of noise when he was squatting (I was convinced he was about to shit himself). It came to a point where there was a smell next to the cross trainers, that genuinely did smell like somebody HAD shat themselves.

We left shortly after witnessing that. 

Now the events leading up to this are all sort of a blur, and I’ve had to be reminded of what happened by Molly.

Several hours had passed now, and we were walking back from college (the time was about 16:15 PM).

We ventured into Wilko to grab some photo frames to spruce up the apartment, and make it look more homely (£40 odd later). At this point, we began to feel pretty peckish, so thought it be a good idea to head into Tesco to grab some hotdogs (little did we know, this was in fact a terrible idea).

I started to feel somewhat odd. I assumed it was because I hadn’t eaten since about
11:00 am this morning, and that I just needed some damn sugar.

Again, I was wrong.

We approached the hotdogs, after I had retrieved the brioche buns (£1.20 for eight! Bargain!).

This is where shit. got. real. 

I looked at Molly and said “I feel funny“.

She looked at me and said “what’s wrong?”

It then went from 0-100 real quick because I simply looked at her and said..

“I’m going to have a fit“.

NOW JUST TO STEP IN A SECOND HERE..

THIS IS COMING FROM A DUDE WHO HAS NEVER, EVER HAD A SEIZURE IN HIS LIFE.

(Just to get that outta’ the way).

My eyes rolled back into my head.

I collapsed.

She caught me.

She screamed for help, as she lay there with me on the floor whilst I was spazzing and foaming all over the hotdog isle.

Various customers ran to the scene, along with numerous Tesco staff.

Must’ve been pretty hungry because I started to swallow my tongue. Some guy called Craig (shoutout to Craig) helped pull it outta’ my throat.

I woke up not really knowing what went on.

Obviously.

Molly said at first when I asked what was going on, I seemed frightened.

Until I asked her again, and she said my response was “oh for fuck sake“.

The weirdest part about this whole experience is the fact it feels like theres this HUGE chunk of memory missing that I just can’t access.

Like its been deleted or something?

Bizarre.

The paramedic described a seizure as being almost like a system reboot, which is the reason I can’t remember quite as much as I’d like to.

He was also wearing a GoPro..

.. Which I later on found out is because I’m actually going to be on TV at some point this year! On a programme called Inside The Ambulance on W.

Stay tuned.

Once we got to A&E, it took them the short time of 8 FUCKING HOURS to see me.

We’re still unsure as to what caused the seizure.

I’ll have more tests in the next coming weeks.

Here’s a picture of me in A&E eating a burger at 4am.

 

 

 

 

Introduction

Hello!

I’ll put the kettle on.

Tea? Coffee? Milk and sugar? (If you don’t have milk, then just leave right now please).

Going to keep it short and sweet (like myself).

My blog is titled ‘life‘ for a reason.

Was is that reason, you wonder? 

(I know you’re wondering why, don’t lie)

Because you’re going to be reading about my life, of course!

“Why would I want to read about your life?”

You may be asking yourself.

Why wouldn’t you?!

You’re going to be able to read and see all kinds of personal shit.

I’m rambling.

Watch this space..

.. And enjoy.

Here’s a video of some monkeys at Paignton Zoo in Devon that I filmed last year.

WATCH THE MONKEYS!!!